Sex Ed
by SlytherinDemigod13
Summary: Chiron decides the older demigods at camp need to take part in a...special...class. Naturally, things go horribly wrong.
1. Chapter 1

**_I'm a dirty minded freak, what can I say? So I came up with this little...scenario. You may not like it, but... I hope you enjoy._**

"This is a very important class. Important not only to your safety, but also your over all quitlty of life."

The group of demigods stared at the centaur, some looking confused, others trying their best not to burst out laughing.

Chiron paced around the room, on the second floor of the Big House. He had only allowed demigods 13 and over to attend this little...gathering. Recent problems had arisen among the older campers that he believed needed to be addressed as quickly as possible.

"So...after the Travis and Katie incident in the Hermes cabin the other day, and Percy and Annabeth by the beach last week, I decided you all should be educated about sexual intercourse."

There were quite a few couples around the room. Percabeth, Jiper, Frazel, Tratie. Will and Nico were there, too, but they didn't look like they were very interested in the class.

Leo raised his hand. He was smirking, curious about what Chiron could possibly know about sex.

"Have you ever had intercourse, Chiron?"

Laughter arose from all around the room, and Chiron wavered.

"Um, I'm afraid that's none of your concern, my boy," Chiron muttered. "So anyways, I have a few demonstrations, and also a slide show. For my first demonstration I need two volunteers. How about...Leo and Miranda."

Leo glanced at the daughter of Demeter as they slowly walked to the front of the room. Leo could tell Miranda was already embarrassed, even though nothing had happened yet. Leo was trying not to laugh, and listening to Jason, Percy, and some other demigods madly giggling and whispering to each other didn't help.

"Ok, face each other."

The two obeyed the centaur's command, facing each other, so that Miranda could see Leo's smirk and he could see her bright red face. When he turned, Leo noticed Mr.D eating popcorn and giggling in the corner.

"Leo and Miranda met each other three weeks ago at the beach," Chiron stated. "Miranda thinks he is an interesting young lad, and is glad to have made friends with him."

Chiron's face darkened.

"But Leo wants more than that. He begins to feel strange feelings towards his new friend. He talks to Miranda one day, she gives into him. Pretty soon Leo books them a hotel room. And they experience something new in there."

Leo laughed loudly. Thank the gods Calypso wasn't here right now, she'd be going insane.

"But!" Chiron said dramatically. "Leo wakes up one morning a few weeks later with an odd sore on his lip. Yes, it appears our dear friend Miranda has infected him with Herpes."

Miranda screamed, and laughter burst throughout the entire room.

In the back of the room, Connor Stoll raised his hand. "Chiron, I know an even better way to teach about sexually transmitted diseases, you know, instead of the slide show."

"And what would that be?"

"It's called pornography. Or just porn."

It was at that moment that the room's atmosphere completely changed. You could almost feel amusement, confusion, and some anger bubbling up around them.

"Oh yeah, it's really educational," Percy said, doing his best not to laugh or smile as he went along with it.

Chiron smiled. He may not trust the Stolls, but he trusted Percy.

"Just look it up and go to videos. You won't regret it," Travis said.

Chiron got the projector ready and searched up "porn" on the camp computer. Despite the giggling fits heard from all around the room, Chiron kept going. He figured that was natural in a sex ed class.

The video began rolling. It stared out innocent enough, but...

Oh my gods, Chiron thought. Oh gods, what? That poor women! What is this?

A few girls in the room screamed and ran out. The scene folding out in front of them was one of absolute terror.

Four. Four! At one time! How many babies does this lady want to have?

Chiron, finally thinking straight turned off the projector. He tried to take his mind off of it, but the images were burned unto his mind. The hammer, the Hannah Montanna wig, the four...things.

"Class dismissed!" Chiron yelled. He'd speak to Percy and the Stolls about this later. Believe me, he would.

But right now, he just needed some alone time. To reflect on his poor decision the bring Sex Education to Camp Half-Blood.

AaAaAaAaAa

 **Ok, so tell me what you think? It was supposed to be funny, I want to know if I succeeded**

 **in that.**


	2. Chapter 2

_So_... _a few people wanted more, so here you go! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited. It means a lot._

 _Also, Chiron is a little OOC in this. But what can I say, he's messed up._

Chiron glared at Percy and Stolls. They were in the Big House, the demigods slouched down in a comfortable couch and Chiron angrily wheeling around in circles. He was still traumatized... everything he saw molding together like an atom bomb ready to explode in his mind. He had seen sex in real life, of course he had; when you've been around for thousands of years you have seen quite a bit of things... but what they did in that porno...that was a whole new level of insanity.

The thought of what that man did to that Donald Trump chia pet, the sexy rendition of Full House, Simon Cowell "berating" Got Talent contestants...all rolled up into one video...it was jus too much. Hell, he had seen all that, and he'd only showed a minute of the thing to the class.

He shook his head and cleared his throat.

We made it through the hard part, he told himself, now we just gotta deal with the aftermath... Just start simple.

"Boys, was this really necessary?"

Percy, Connor, and Travis exchanged a brief glance.

"We're sorry," They all three said at the same time.

"What you did was extremely irresponsible! Now, Travis and Connor, we have talked about your behavior on multiple occasions, and you keep promising to be better. You have both been punished countless times for the most idiotic things... but, but this is _insane_."

"It's ok. We know you're struggling right now, Chiron," Connor said with fake sadness. "That was a tough porno to make it through... But you have to know that we're here for you in this."

"STOP! I DON'T NEED HELP!"

Chiron paused as the three demigods raised their eyebrows. He then examined himself in the mirror across the room. His eyes were wide, his hair was an out of control mess, his arms were flung up in the air... he looked like a complete psycho. He lowered his arms and tried to calm down.

"Listen... Percy, I understand this with the Stolls, but you? This is ridiculous. I expect so much from you, and this to happens. And I KNOW Leo was taking videos. I saw the phone. I want them all deleted. Now."

"Well.." Travis said. "That can't happen fast enough. Leo's phone died right after he posted it on YouTube. Then he went to the store to get gummy bears...couldn't even wait for his phone to charge, the greedy pig. No telling when he'll be back. It'll probably have a bunch of views..."

"Wait... YouTube?"

"The internet. You were in your wheelchair. So it was cool to post."

"This was posted on the internet?!"

"And sent to Olympus."

"WHAT?"

Connor rolled his eyes. "What's the big deal? They don't care. It's just a funny video. It isn't embarrassing or anything."

"'ISN'T EMBARRASSING OR ANYTHING'? IT'S ME ACTING ALL AFRIAD AND DEFENSELESS AT THE SIGHT OF SEX! INTERESTING SEX, BUT SEX! IF THAT ISN'T EMBARRASSING, THEN TELL WHAT IS? GO ON, PERCY, TELL ME WHAT'S EMBARRASSING!"

Percy's eyes widened. Normally Chiron didn't yell when he was angry, he rarely raised his voice. And normally the mentor was pretty strong, he didn't get embarrassed like this. This porno must have really messed him up.

"Um..."

"Exactly," Chiron looked down sadly. "This is not good..."

Percy stood. "Well, you seem stressed, Chiron. We'll just leave you be."

"Yes, go. Leave me...leave me be. Leave me be while I reflect on life and my idiotic choices. But don't think you're escaping punishment. Because you aren't. You're on dish duty... forever. And no desert, let's see...forever. Now go and let me get back to normal."

And they did, leaving Chiron alone in the room. He felt terrible. He was acting like a little kid. He had let a video; one simple, disgusting, horribly disturbing video reduce him to this. But at least he could look at the bright side. Mortals and gods alike were all living it up watching it, laughing their asses off.

Yep...such a great bright side. So much good had come from this situation.


End file.
